Tried it: Groom Mate Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer

It was hard to get good action photos, and what I got wasn't flattering.

Because I am an old person, I bought a nose hair trimmer. Because I am a young person, I am blogging about it.

This post is going to contain TMI, so if noses and the things they do and produce bother you ... well, off you go.

I've had a lot of nose hair for a while. But recently it started getting so long that it sticks out my nose and can be seen by others. The mustache masks it, but I know it's there.

But it isn't vanity that led me to this purchase. No, I wanted to help myself not pick my nose. You see, with as much nose hair as I had, the snot wicks along the hairs and then dries. This is a problem for me because I always seem to have at least a little bit of a runny nose going because I am some kind of monster. So it runs, it wicks, it dries, and it pokes me. It also tugs on the hairs as I make facial expressions and that tickles.

So it takes a lot of willpower for me not to pick my nose. When you're not looking, sometimes I cave and get some relief. I'm not proud of it, being a 35-year-old man picking my nose in dark corners. But the itching!

I had been plucking. But that hurts, so much. Each time I even attempt to pluck a hair, tears well up in my eyes and my face contorts with discomfort. If I succeed in uprooting one, my whole nasal cavity protests in a forceful, painful sneeze. It is not something I could do for a whole nose full of hairs on an ongoing basis.

So I bought a Groom Mate Platinum X L Nose & Ear Hair Trimmer. Buy it with that link so I get a bounty from Amazon. They aren't paying me for this review, I bought it fair and square. But really do use the link and buy it, because the trimmer works well and I want the $0.80 you doing so will net me.

I got this one because the makers promised up and down that if you take this scary looking little steel wand, shove it up your nose, and then twist it so the blades spin, it won't rip 32 nose hairs out at once or cut your tender nose-meat to ribbons. Plus it was only $20.

Eagerly, I awaited its arrival. I'm not being sarcastic.

When I got home today, it was waiting for me in a little white shipping bag. Inside the bag was a little black box. No other shipping materials. I unboxed it, my proboscis atwitter with anticipation.

The little plastic sleeve it came in reminded me of an oboe reed case. I put it in my face and started twisting! And felt nothing. But that's good! No ripping, tearing, or cutting. Much smooth, very slice. I had to pull it out and look to confirm that it was even doing anything. And it was. Little hairs festooned the device, and a close look at my nostril revealed a much trimmed nasal lawn.

It works with two concentric rings of blades. The outer ring is much like beard trimmer, with a guard facing the skin. As you twist the bottom half of the device and hold the top half still, the inner blade ring spins around, scissoring the hairs. No batteries, plugs, or scary buzzing sensations in a spot you're sure will be gruesomely injured before you can stop it.

I got back at it. It was hard to get it into the sharply concave bit at the front. I had to push my nose up into the piggie position with one hand and then shove the trimmer in there and twist it with my pointer finger, which meant the outside was spinning instead of the inside. But even that didn't hurt.

I'm sold. I'd buy another one if that made sense. It has a lifetime unconditional warranty. It does take some effort and manipulation to get into all the angles, but it's nothing a reasonably dexterous adult couldn't handle. I just did one nostril so I could feel the difference and it's great.

The hair is almost all gone and I feel less itchy in there already. It feels naked in there, which is mostly good but it is a little more tender than the still-hirsute nostril, and when prodding at it from certain angles, I feel some stubble. I realize now that another thing tickling was the hair from one side of the nostril reaching over and poking the other side; now that is gone.

It is everything I hoped it'd be. This device has restored to me the nostril of my youth.

Tried It: ISOThrive Prebiotics

It's a mildly sweet goo in a little foil packet. TMI warning, this post is about a gut health product.

Intestinal gas gives me an existential crisis. I assume this isn't a problem everyone has, but for some reason, deep in my brain, "I'm gassy" is connected to "mortal doom." In fact, a feeling of dread and fear beyond the reach of human harm is often the first symptom of gas I feel. Which is to say that products marketed as helping digestive health tend to catch my attention. Ain't nobody got time for that.

ISOThrive is a prebiotic. Yogurt, kombucha, and other things you eat that have live bacteria or other microorganisms are probiotics, and their purpose is to bring in good microbes to colonize your gut. Prebiotics, on the other hand, aim to nurture the good microbes that are already in your gut so that they dominate. The company sent me a 30-day supply to try for free, but has not otherwise compensated me for this post, nor have they had any editorial input.

Most prebiotics are small- to medium-chain sugar polymers. Other synonyms or near-synonyms you might hear are "soluble fiber" and "oligosaccharide." You can't digest such polymers directly like you can fructose or table sugar, and the microbes in your stomach mostly can't either. These longer sugars are digested instead by symbiotic (good) bacteria that live further down, in your intestines. So, the theory goes, by nurturing a healthy community down in your intestines, you get smooth, regular functioning of those organs.

Someone warned you a chemist writes this blog, right?

No euphemism zone: We're talking about avoiding constipation, diarrhea, excessive gas, and gas buildup. The company says "Many people experience a decrease in acid reflux, constipation, decrease in appetite, and other effects on their gut health."

ISOThrive uses "maltosyl-iso-malto-oligosaccharides," a term I'm going to score "just fine" from a science standpoint. The company sent me a thirty day supply of 1-gram packets of this slightly sweet goo. The instructions say to eat it straight or to dissolve it in water.

Results: I knew from the get-go this one was going to be hard to evaluate. The basic question is, "Does this stuff make my lower digestive tract behave better?" But there are too many variables to be 100% sure. I've tried to eat normally to avoid skewing the results. But you should understand this is anecdote, not rigorous data.

But I think it does help. Over the 18 days I've been taking it so far, things have been more consistent down there. I've been, overall, less gassy than normal. It's not a huge effect, I don't suddenly have the digestive powers of a 20-year-old again. But I've felt better on the parameters we're watching the past 18 days than I did the 18 days before that.

The volume of waste also seems to be less, which is an odd effect but kinda makes sense. If the microbes that break things down in my lower intestines are healthier, you could believe that they'd be able to extract more nutrition from the same input, leaving less to waste.

The jury is still out on the efficacy of prebiotic supplements. Scientists are doing rigorous, independent studies on it as we speak. But if you're already convinced of the merits, I can say that this is an easy and reasonably pleasant way to supplement.


If you want to read the play-by-play, I kept a log of the trial below. I'll try to keep it going till I run out my 30-day supply.

Day 1: I decided to squeeze the satchel directly into my mouth because I wanted to really taste it. It mostly didn't have a taste. A hint of sweet and a hint of sour, that's pretty much it. Entirely inoffensive. It was about as thick as cold maple syrup, but not sticky. Similar to glycerin. The brochure says to give it at least two weeks; it's a painless enough thing to take that I don't forsee a problem.

Day 2: Forgot to take it in the morning so I took it around 7pm. My gut feels pretty good today, but that can't be attributed to Iso-Trive this early in the trial.

Day 3: Gut is feeling fine. I was gassy and constipated when I started, some combination of flu and excessive dessert, maybe even some cheesecake gone bad. Those symptoms are mostly gone. The little packets poke at the sides of my mouth, though I could add it to water instead of taking it straight.

Day 4: Unremarkable.

Day 5: Having some lower back pain, probably unrelated. Bowels seem fine, but I'm sniffly, which is relevant b/c that often results in gas.

Day 6: Sniffles turned out to be this cute trick my body does where instead of feeling tired, it feels like I have a bad cold, presumably b/c feeling tired doesn't actually get me to rest. Anyway, guts felt fine through all that anyway.

Day 7: Back pain was a result of sleeping on my stomach without supporting my hips. Good to know.

Day 12: Not sure how I missed recording a few days, but I have 18 left and I started with 30, so that indicates that this is day 12. Anyway, I've had more sweets over the past few days, and I'm getting a bit more gas and constipation. So that's an interesting trend. Interesting in a bad way; I have quite the sweet tooth.

Day 13: Guts were a little rough today.

Day 14: Felt pretty good today, intestine-wise anyway. 

Day 15: Guts feeling solid, performing to spec.

Day 16: Guts feeling solid, performing to spec.

Day 17: Guts feeling solid, performing to spec.

Day 18: Still feeling good, even though the past few days have been very stressful. I usually get a bit of upset stomach when I'm stressed.

Day 30: Okay, I kinda lost steam on the daily journal thing. I just finished up my last packet. I also skipped a week because I misplaced the box of packets. My observation is that when regularly using ISOThrive, I was less gassy and more regular by a good margin that I can't explain by other variables. So my anecdotal experience suggests a pretty good chance that this product had a real and noticeable positive effect on my gut health.